Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
