the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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