Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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