I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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