just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
