you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
