Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
