This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
