I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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