nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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