problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize