Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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