OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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