You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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