I am midnight drunk by noon
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize