this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
