I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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