During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Come share oat with me in your robe
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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