Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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