Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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