Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
pray to the hookup gods
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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