is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize