This gyro tastes like lonliness
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
