you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
