debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize