you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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