peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize