He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I would ride that face into the sunset
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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