Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
