I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
