And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
