I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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