i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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