I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
