your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
