i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Randomize
