Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
