Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
