what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
