True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
wow bdsm is so cute
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