check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize