I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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