This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
