But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
