There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
