sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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