But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize