I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize