I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
