we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
