I understand Curling. That high.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
