so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
