There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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