I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
