I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
