im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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