Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
