Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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